


Sight.

by innersanctuaries



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, Past Torture, Protective Sam Winchester, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 04:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14073153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innersanctuaries/pseuds/innersanctuaries
Summary: Sometimes it's most difficult to see the things closest to you.





	Sight.

**Author's Note:**

> I think we've all established that every time I post something new, I wrote it because I'm procrastinating on something. So let's not get into that and just say that hey! This is a thing I'm happy about!
> 
> This is based on a post made by deanbumblebee on tumblr, because every fucking thing she puts out makes me want to write something, goddammit! This is ALSO thanks to Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish. I've really got to stop listening to music that inspires fics while doing homework. 
> 
> Song inspo is Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish
> 
> (https://youtu.be/viimfQi_pUw?list=PLvy9r_DIfedB1SimanmMURhBuxcsDn74s)
> 
> Post this is based on: https://deanbumblebee.tumblr.com/post/170702810964/deanbumblebee-sam-cares-for-gabriel-after

 The first time Gabriel saw those eyes, he’d just woken up to lips that could finally open and a real bed. Next to him, eyes brighter than the sky his father created looked upon him like he was the most incredible thing they’d ever seen.

 

“You’re awake,” Sam breathed, the voice he hadn’t heard in so long soothing his shredded Grace.

 

 “I guess I am,” His voice was ragged, absolutely destroyed. Both of them winced at the sound of it. “Where are we?”

 

“Home. Our home, at least. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want to.”

 

 It didn’t make him uncomfortable, the way Sam looked at him. No, not at all. It made his heart beat faster, showing him how human he was for the time being. It made what was left of his Grace cry out to him, begging for his touch. He ached, and he hated it. He told himself he hated it.

 

 “Don’t look at me like that, kid. Makes me think you’re planning something awful for me. You gonna kill me a hundred times?”

 

“I thought you were dead,” If he were anyone else, Gabriel would have thought Sam was genuinely annoyed. But he wasn’t anyone else. He’d hurt Sam. “And you know I won’t do that. Excuse me for being surprised that you’re here.”

 

 “I’m sorry. That was a dick thing to say.”

 

“It was,” His touch, his touch made Gabriel light up and warm. He cursed the happy sigh that escaped him at the feeling of Sam’s hand on his. “But that’s alright. We’re all assholes when we come back from the dead. Trust me, I know.”

 

 Gabriel had woken up to everything he’d ever wanted only inches out of his reach. He decided he’d be alright with that as he laughed with Sam.

 

__________

 

   His eyes drove Gabriel insane.

 

 Every time something happened, he’d turn to see the softest turquoise eyes looking back at him like he was the only thing in the world. Like he was important and someone to love. He didn’t know what it meant, but he cursed his father for making him see things that weren’t there.

 

 He saw them at night, next to him in bed.

 

 Sleeping was a terrible thing he’d started needing while his Grace recovered. Nightmares were an even worse thing that came along with it. The first night, he’d woken up to a frantic and worried embrace. Gabriel had cried into Sam’s chest until he lost his voice, then fallen asleep in his arms. He couldn’t sleep without Sam after that. 

 

 He saw those eyes when he’d had an episode while the others had been on a hunt. 

 

 A bottle of holy oil was poured on him, he could see the lighter. It was right there. No, it wasn’t right there. His mind lied to him too often, too realistically. He was found in the corner of the locked dungeon, lunging at the first person who found him with tears streaming down his cheeks. They had to restrain him while Sam brought him back, wiping his face down with a cool washcloth and whispering comfort in his ear. 

 

“You’re safe here, you’re safe with me,” Warmth, warmth was poured into him. It filled him up and overflowed. Warmth enveloped him, it promised him every good thing, it promised him healing and adoration. “You’re okay.”

 

 For the first time in his far too long lifetime, Gabriel believed those words. 

 

__________

 

 Everyone had told him he wasn’t ready for a hunt.

 

 Dean said that someone who’d broken half the bones in his hands by punching the cement walls until they bled the day before wasn’t fit to go. Someone who’d screamed that he shouldn’t have survived, that the ghosts in his head would never have been there if he would have died wasn’t fit to go on a hunt.

 

 Castiel said that someone who’d been found driving his own blade into his chest on several different occasions should stay at the bunker and continue being monitored. Someone who’d only given a blank stare as it was pulled from his body, that had been enraged when he was healed instead of being left to die wasn’t fit to go on a hunt.

 

 Sam said that someone who was trapped in his own head with no distractions deserved a chance to go with them. Someone who still managed to crack jokes and smile even through his pain, whose traumas were slowly beginning to heal deserved to be a part of their family. 

 

 Gabriel told himself that if he hadn’t been there, Sam would have had Lucifer’s hand punched through his body, a bloody ordeal. 

 

 “Sam, get down!” Running, running, he tackled Sam to the ground and covered them both with his wings. 

 

 Somewhere in the background, he heard the rest of the group fighting for their lives. But in that moment, the only things he heard was his brother’s mocking laughter and the hideous  _ CRACK _ of his wings.

 

 He only had the time to pray that nothing would happen to Sam before the world faded away.

 

__________

 

 It was three days later that he woke up to his favorite kind of warmth, the kind that chased away any pain he felt. 

 

 The first move he made caused Sam’s eyes to snap open, wide and worried. It’d been months, and those turquoise eyes still made his heart skip a beat or two. Before he could even open his mouth, he was being pulled into a gentle hug.

 

“You’re finally awake,” Sam’s voice was teary, scared. “I didn’t know if you’d wake up.”

 

 “I’m okay, Sammy. I’ve had broken wings before,” Relaxing into his touch, he let his Grace roam free, checking him for any injuries. The relief he felt when he found Sam okay was like no other, enough to make him melt into his touch. “What happened?”

 

“Lucifer broke your wings. Completely broke two of the ones on the left, fractured a few of the bones of the third. Cas said he can’t do much, I’m sorry.”

 

 “They’ll heal quickly enough now that my Grace is doing better,” Nuzzling into Sam’s chest, he closed his eyes and listened to the sound of his heart, the beating assuring him that the one he loved was alive. Gabriel would do anything to make sure he would stay that way. “Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine, you saved me. Self-sacrificing idiot.”

 

 “Hey! I just want you alive!”

 

“You could have gotten yourself killed, Gabriel! What the hell would I do then?” Sam didn’t raise his voice at him, he never did. He wasn’t angry, he was scared. It was in his heart, in the way he tensed up and brought Gabriel in closer to him. “What the hell would I do without you?”

 

 Kaleidoscope eyes looked down at him, trying to tell him something. Why could he never figure out what it was? Why couldn’t he speak that language? He wanted so badly to learn it, to be able to say everything he wanted to say without using the words he couldn’t seem to form. 

 

 “Stop looking at me like that.”

 

“What?” Every word Gabriel spoke was the wrong one, each one of them hurting Sam just as badly as a blow to the head. “Looking at you like what?”

 

 “Like that!” Gabriel exclaimed. “Like a fucking puppy! You look at me and I don’t know what you’re saying, I can’t figure it out! You look at me like I’m worth it, like I don’t deserve everything I’ve gotten when I do. Stop looking at me like that, stop making me fall in love with you, please.”

 

 If anything, that only served to make Sam’s face soften further. It hurt him, it hurt knowing that he couldn’t have that, that it wasn’t his. That Sam wasn’t his. 

 

 He didn’t think he’d ever been as surprised as he was when Sam’s gentle hand tipped his head up to look at him. Gabriel didn’t want to, he couldn’t meet his eyes.

 

“Gabriel,” Sam said quietly. “Angel, look at me. Please?”

 

 The nickname was enough to get his attention, pain lancing through him. That was something he only heard in dreams, something he couldn’t have heard correctly. 

 

 When he looked up, he saw a clear sky in the middle of spring. He saw the ocean crashing against the rocks. He saw the stars dancing. He saw, and he understood.

 

 “Wait.”

 

 Sam raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Yeah?”

 

 “You’re in love with me too.”

 

 Gabriel would never in a million years tire of Sam’s laugh. It made the earth spin, the prettiest of flowers grow. It made his Grace swell and dance gleefully. Sam scooted down so he was face to face with him on the bed, a smile like the sun on his face.

 

“Yeah, I am. I’m so in love with you, Gabriel. It’d be so hard not to be,” A press of Sam’s lips to his forehead made his heart flutter. “You don’t deserve any of it. You deserve to be better. You deserve to be happy and home and  _ loved. _ ”

 

 Kissing Sam was something he’d dreamed of for so long, but dreams never compared to real life. The moment their lips met, his world lit up like it never had before. He clutched onto Sam and let out a choked sob. The only thing keeping him alive, keeping him grounded, it was his. Sam was his.

 

 After all that time, he’d finally learned to translate those eyes. They spoke of love and life and tenderness, desperation and determination to help him heal in any way he could. They spoke of a happiness like no other, laughter and breathlessness.

 

 After all that time, Gabriel finally learned to say every last thing right back.

**Author's Note:**

> God, I'm so happy with thiiiiiis. Welcome to the world of even more abused commas!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and helps me know what you guys do and don't like!
> 
> Follow me on Instagram at @archangelica_angelica or on tumblr at innersanctuaries if you want to get in touch or just to watch me shitpost!


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